Tags
Better yourself, Busy, Clingy, Convenient, Friends, Jealous, Life, Pick one
First of all, as I write this blog I want to tell you all that this was meant for ME. I did a lot of self examining recently and I wanted to make sure I was being ,and will continue to strive to be, the right kind of friend. While I was “examining myself” and the kind of friend I am, I decided that maybe someone else out there needed to think of the same things and ask themselves some of the same questions. So, here it is!
What kind of friend are you?
1. The Convenient Friend- You spend time with certain friends only when it is convenient for you, mostly when you have nothing better to do or no one “better” to hang out with. When you are bored out of your mind and sitting at home twiddling your thumbs, THAT is when you decide to call up your friend and ask them to hang out. You have little regard for what they have been doing or what they may have going on. Their main purpose is to entertain you and right now is the opportune time (since you have nothing else to do).
Maybe, this is the friend you call when you are having a problem because you know he/she will always help you work through it. After they “fix” your problem, you probably will not talk to them until the next problem arises. That’s what they are there for right? Of course you do not have any time to hear what problems they may be facing or trials they have gone through since you last talked; that wouldn’t be a convenient way to spend your time would it?
Are you this kind of friend? Do you only call up or text certain friends when you have nothing better to do? Or when you need someone to listen to your problems? Is your sole purpose for hanging out with them to entertain yourself and blow some time? OR do you genuinely want to see/ talk to this person and find out how they are doing? Ask yourself those questions and carefully think of the TRUE answer…no matter how hard that may be to admit.
2. The Busy Friend- This friend may seem a little like the “convenient friend”, but the main difference is that this person truly does care about her friends, she just has trouble making the time for them. This friend gets so caught up in the hustle and bustle of their every day life that they end up neglecting their friends because they don’t “make” time, or specifically set apart time to catch up with their friends.
The busy friend is genuinely happy when they make time to see their friend! They are content to just sit and hear all about what is going on in their friend’s life. They spend quality time talking and catching up with one another and do not have to be doing something that may be “entertaining.” The company of their friend is what is really important to this person. Yes, the “busy friend” should focus on “making time” for their friends and strive to do a better job of keeping in touch. That is something to work on this year and they should try to make it a “life change.” We should never become too busy for some good, quality, friend time!
Do you get too caught up in the hustle of life that you forget to communicate and spend time with your friends? Start making it a point to have “friend time” once a week or maybe once every other week. Also, make a point to keep in touch even if it is a quick text letting them know you are thinking of them!
3. The Clingy Friend- This friend is the one who does not know how to spend time alone and may have a little bit of social insecurity. They show up at your doorstep every day (sometimes multiple times) and do not know when it is time to leave. This friend hates having alone time, and they will substitute alone time for time with YOU! You are the one they have chosen to spend ALL their free time with. They probably struggle with getting things done around the house and keeping up with simple chores. They want you to be involved in everything that they are involved in and go everywhere they go.
They prefer to spend time with you “alone”- which means they do not want you to have any other friends, not close friends anyway. This is also the friend you just cannot say no too, because you feel too guilty to hurt their feelings! After all, you are the only close friend they have.
Are you this kind of friend? Do you find one person and then just cling to them? Do you get upset when they have other friends around or want to participate in a group activity instead of just one-on-one time? Are you constantly at this your friend’s house? Is your home in a mess because you’re too busy spending time with your friend to take care of it? Let’s hope not! If so, try to limit your “friend time” and start finding new things to do that you enjoy doing ALONE!
4. The Jealous Friend- This friend is similar to the “clingy friend” in some aspects. The difference with these two is that the Jealous Friend does not necessarily mind being alone. They enjoy spending time with their friends (mostly just “friend”-singular, just one lol) but they do not always need to be with them. Although they do not stick to their friend’s side like glue, they do not want anyone else spending time with them either. If they know that their friend is spending time with someone else there are two ways they may react.
1. They either give their friend the cold shoulder or act in a similar childish way. They may also act as though they are too busy to hang out the next time their friend calls them up.
2. They may go out of their way to do something really nice for you, or buy you something to show how much they appreciate you. They want to win your affection and friendship however possible and want you to know that they are the better friend.
Both of these reactions are ridiculous! Are you this kind of friend? Do you get angry when you find out that instead of spending time with you, your friend is spending time with someone else? Do you react in either of those two ways when you find out? If so, STOP BEING SO INSECURE! Make new friends! Learn to be confident in your friendship!! You don’t need to pick just one friend and then spend ALL your time with that one person. Branch out and learn to have more than one friend, then maybe you will understand why your “one friend” spends time with other people also.
Needless to say, if you are any of these (or maybe just a little bit like any of them) then you have some work to do. When I say that, I am saying it to myself also. These kind of friends are NOT good friends.
I know that I am mostly guilty of the “busy friend syndrome” if you wanna call it that. I get so caught up doing my own thing and trying to get everything done all at once, that I forget I need to make friend time!
Try to examine yourself a little and see what you can do to be a better friend. Whether it is working on your insecurity, your selfishness, or your time management- if you identify these faults and work on them, I guarantee you will have more successful and rewarding friendships.