Marriage- When people think of that word they envision a wedding, love, the color white, cake, flowers, pictures, rings etc. but it is so much more than all of that! When we think about marriage to that special person who we have decided to love and cherish the rest of our lives, we also think about how happy they make us. Many times, when others ask us why we are marrying that person, we give them that exact answer “They make me happy.” That is what we focus on, what we base our decision on, and that is our ultimate downfall many times.
First of all, marriage should be centered around God and His love. If our relationship with God is lacking, then all of our other relationships will suffer, including our marriage. Secondly, it should be built on love, trust, respect, and commitment. Those elements are vital to a healthy marriage! Third, I believe that our main focus should be how we can make our spouse happy. Our biggest downfall is being so consumed with our own needs and wants, that we selfishly neglect the happiness of our spouses and their needs. I believe the key to a joyous marriage is focusing on making your spouse happy, instead of focusing on how they can make us happy. Think of how different our marriage would be if we practiced that!
I don’t know about you, but I love seeing my husband smile! I enjoy hearing him laugh and knowing that he is having a good time. When my husband is happy, I am happy. When he is sad, I am sad. I don’t know how to describe it any other way than with the words I recently told him, “When you hurt, I hurt.” So ultimately, making my husband happy just naturally contributes to my own happiness. Now, do I make him happy just so I feel good? Not necessarily, but when you love someone it truly does just naturally make you happy also. It’s like the saying, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
I bet you’re wondering, “Well, if I am focused on making him/her happy, when do I ever get what I want and who makes me happy?” am I right? First of all, God should always be your source of joy. Secondly, think of it this way, if your husband/wife does everything they can to make you happy wouldn’t you want to reciprocate that? Also, like I said before, if you truly love someone then making them happy will automatically contribute to your own happiness.
If you are constantly focused on yourself and it’s always all about “me” then it will be exhausting for your spouse and eventually become more difficult to please you. Your spouse will soon lose the joy and pleasure in trying to make you happy. When we focus on ourselves all the time it becomes this dangerous and vicious cycle where we can never get enough. We “expect” to be given things and pampered so the happiness in things quickly fade away. Whereas, when we focus on giving to each other, it just becomes more beautiful, wonderful, and enjoyable.
God did not put us on this earth just so we can get everything we want and become selfish. He wants us to be a blessing to others! We are here to share his love and salvation. Our purpose in life is not to get, but to give.
I challenge you, and myself, to focus on making our spouses happy this week. Whether it is in words, actions, time, or gifts; focus on THEIR happiness this week and discover how happy you too will become.