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Okay, so this is sure to be a sensitive topic, but I think it is one that does need to be talked about more. I have spoke to many wives, those who choose to work and those who choose to stay at home. The mindset of these women are different for sure, but if it is just a difference of choice and opinion, why do we condemn each other?

The working wife may not understand why a woman would choose to stay at home all day instead of having a career; and the stay-at-home wife probably does not understand why a woman would choose to have a career instead of making her primary “job” keeping the home. No matter how much difficulty we have understanding each other, we need to make sure we are not condemning one another.

Although, I prefer working instead of staying home for the better part of the day, I can see things from both sides of the spectrum. I understand why women can be “fulfilled” by staying at home, and I can also understand how invigorating working a job can feel!

The Working Wife:

You work outside the home and help bring in extra income. Maybe you choose to work, or maybe you have to work. It is very admirable that you are in the workforce and contributing to your household income! Although you spend a good part of the day working at your job (away from home), do not forget that you have responsibilities at home as well. You may work, but when your husband married you he did so because he wanted a wife.

You have a role as a wife and it should be your honor, privilege, and desire to take care of your husband and your home. Today’s society has strayed so far away from the concept that wives are supposed to be the “keeper of the home.” I, personally, still believe that as wives our main responsibility is to take care of our home and husband. I also believe that our husband’s main responsibility is to provide for his family.

I understand that as a wife working outside the home, there are days that you come home completely exhausted. Some nights you may just want to order pizza and call it a night, go for it! I have done that a few times too! All I am saying is, that kind of behavior should not be the “norm.” You may also need to ask your husband to help you out sometimes and lend you a hand, that is totally understandable. Just remember that the home is still your responsibility and you are to take pride in it. Your husband can and should help you if he is able to; but just like he should be the main provider, you should be the main “keeper of the home.”

Also, just because you are a working wife does not mean that the “stay-at-home” wife does not deserve your respect, she is working hard as well! She may have a different role than you, but that does not mean that she is not working hard. Do not let a stay-at-home wife make you feel bad for working outside the home, and do not try to make her feel bad because she does not. Neither of you contribute any less!

The Stay-at-home Wife:

If you are the stay-at-home wife, you have chosen or have been given the option to stay at home. You may not enjoy working or having a career, and your desire has always been to be a wife and mother one day. That is great!

As a stay-at-home wife, many people think that you get a free pass to just sit around and watch Netflix all day, but I know that is not the case. My own mom was a stay-at-home wife/ mother and I rarely ever saw her just sitting in front of the TV! She was constantly on the go whether it was running errands, grocery shopping, cooking, going to dentist appointments, or driving us to various sport and instrument practices- she was always on the move.

Many stay-at-home wives spend their time baking, cooking, cleaning, sewing, decorating, etc. They try to do anything and everything they can to make their home appealing and their husbands proud. The wife who stays at home has more time to make sure that her husband will be coming back to a comfortable “refuge,” and he will be able to relax and recoup before heading back to work the next day.

If you are a stay at home wife, try to make sure you are doing these things and making the best of the situation you have been blessed with. There are many women who would love the option to stay at home, but sadly they are unable to. They would love to spend all day making their homes look beautiful and create amazing dinners to please their husband with. Yes, I know that even the stay-at-home mom can be extraordinarily busy! I understand that you have many errands to run and places to go, but learn to prioritize and try to make your husband and home your first priority! Again, I do believe that is your role as a wife.

Also, just because you have chosen to stay home as opposed to working outside the home, does not make you any better of a person or any less of a person. You were given the opportunity to stay at home and now you should make the best of it! Remember that you chose to make “keeping the home” your main job and now you need to do your best to excel at it! Do not let others make you feel guilty for your choice, and do not try to make other wives feel guilty about their difference in choice.

Both wives are going to be busy, but they should both have the same goal in mind! They should strive to be the best “keepers of home” they can be no matter how busy they are, or what career choices they have made. When our spouses see us doing our best, they will also do their best to be great “providers” for us.

As wives, please remember not to cut each other down. We should all have the same goal in mind and should support one another no matter what our differences may be!

love one another